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blasphemy
November 2009 
a slimmers prayer and another blasphemy followed by a prayer for
Posted on Apr 22nd, 2008
by 
Mikey_Dee
Mikey_Dee
Hail Mary, I'm full of grease, the lard is with me, bloated am I among slimmers and bloated is the front of my body-jeepers creepers, hurry Mary, mothera Gawd, pray for us slimmers, now & at the hour of our diet amen......
Our Father, wart in heaven, Harold be thy name, thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven, give us this day our daily mail, and fogive us our frivioulness, as we forgive those who take things too seriously, and lead us not into damnation but deliver us from weighty thoughts Amen
may all the Gods/godesses above & below , within and without, the hasbeens & wannabees & all other manner of beasties/planets & disney characters & everyone & everything else forgive me my sins, but I was just being silly and didn't mean to offend........ with all the greek & roman Gods as my witnesses, not to mention, Mars, Pluto & Goofy(..... oops I just mentioned them... mea gulpa)
Our Father, wart in heaven, Harold be thy name, thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven, give us this day our daily mail, and fogive us our frivioulness, as we forgive those who take things too seriously, and lead us not into damnation but deliver us from weighty thoughts Amen
may all the Gods/godesses above & below , within and without, the hasbeens & wannabees & all other manner of beasties/planets & disney characters & everyone & everything else forgive me my sins, but I was just being silly and didn't mean to offend........ with all the greek & roman Gods as my witnesses, not to mention, Mars, Pluto & Goofy(..... oops I just mentioned them... mea gulpa)
Access: Public
laughing : ) “Harold” rather works for me, and if I weren't such a heretic (Harold knows I think he's a mirage), I would use it!
Oh Harold, will you forgive me? I am a slimmer, no doubt, and a few days ago, I gave in to temptation. I had something sweet for the first time in months. I took one bite out of it, then devoured it with sheer gluttony. What was it?
A chocolate cupcake.
It was not an evil, decadent one, mind you….it was vegan style, made with no wheat or white flour. Just almonds, of the earth, which I'm sure Adam and the Ants ate when they first roamed the planet that you created. And some other ingredients, including chocolate. There was no icing, which, as you've preached, is the epitome of evil.
What can I do to redeem myself now? The hour of the Weigh-in is coming soon…. Can you deliver me from disappointment, further indulgence and weight gain?
Amen.
that cupcake was weigh off track, so you must do 17situps & 21squats to balance the karmic equation, Harry
And if I don't do it? Then what?
Well, in that case, morning Star may well turn into fallen star as your karma runs over your dogma, but Harry, in his eternal wisdom suggests you pray to Mary, patron saint of slimmers and far more patient than Harry whose intray & email box are overflowing with more important requests such as fallen arches, computer viruses and matters of international relations & diplomacy and common colds and such, so he has little time to deal with lowlife, cupcake infractions (albeit he appreciates the alliteration). So get a life …… end of transmission.